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April 02 it's toughI think that part of what makes my weight loss journey so tough is that even though I look good for me- I am still a big girl.
My triumph of getting back into my size 14 clothes means a lot, but is quickly over-ridden by the fact that size 14 is still big. Weighing 203 lbs is still too much. Will making it into 12s make me happy? Yes- I have never been a 12 as an adult- but I think I will still be too big.
I look in the mirror and am proud. But then, I look again and see how far I have to go.
Sorry such a downer tonight.
March 19 Keep on truckin'So pretty much I suck and have not kept blogging here as I should.
Okay, so since the 11th- did fine that week, this last week has been pretty rough. Part of the problem is that I started seeing someone. Okay- fine, but here are my issues:
-It is hard to go on a date and eat right. Yes, there is always salad, but gosh darn it if I don't love some pasta and pizza once in awhile. I haven't gained weight, but I have been in a holding pattern for a couple of weeks.
-Second issue- when I am happy, I am more complacent. as long as I was kind of unhappy, I felt like losing weight was the only thing that could make things better.
Now granted, being aware of the issues is half the challenge, but man! They are still hard to overcome!
And let me also give this man the kudos he deserves for encouraging me to keep working out. He may encourage the pizza occasionally, but he knows that I am working hard and wants me to succeed.
Okay, other things- like I said, still stuck at 205, but hoping to lose 2 or 3 this week. I worked out 3 hours yesterday and just short of 3 hours tonight. I know that you have to be careful of overdoing, but I think my body needs a good kick in the rear to get it moving again.
I hope everyone is still persevering and working hard to meet their short and long term goals. You all rock! March 10 Winding down on the challengeMarch 10th- that is today's date. Tomorrow is the last day of the MPM challenge. I have come pretty far. Lost 15 since I started this challenge and 30 since I started my effort to lose weight. I am grateful for this challenge because it gave me an extra push. I am grateful for my partner because it has been fun and it is nice to have someone to be accountable to.
There are hundreds and hundreds of people vying for the opportunity to make it to LA for the Biggest Loser finale. To some it means more than it does to others. To me it would mean that I have made an impression on someone, somewhere. Someone thought that our journey and it's documentation was good enough to matter. It would mean that I get to fulfill a dream of sorts- getting to meet the trainers and contestants and tell them how much they inspire me. There is a slim chance of being one of the lucky few to make it to the end, but all in all, when you get down to it- we are all winners. We all participated in a challenge- there were more people who stayed on their couches that got off of them. Maybe our progress was smaller than we would have liked, but it was still progress. I am not going to reach my goal- but that is okay, not reaching it just means have that much more reason to keep striving.
This journey allowed me to improve my health- I exercise more, eat less, and have been part of a community who accepts one another for who they are and encourages them to be who they want to be. I am more aware of the health resources that are out there and more determined to use them to my advantage.
Tomorrow morning I will wake up and have my last official challenge weigh-in. I will proudly post my number and hope that I've done enough to change my life forever.
More than anything I want to congratulate everyone who started and finished this challenge. We are all on the right path. Don't let the end of this path be the end of your journey. If there isn't a clear path from this one, cut your own tracks into the ground. Do whatever you have to do.
Thank you for all the encouraging words over the last ten weeks.
I look forward to continuing this journey and further interaction with this community. Good luck to everyone! March 08 Life is CrazyHello everyone! It has been a few days! This week has been hectic for me. My nerves have been all kind of wound up which makes me not want to eat. I eat a few bites and then feel full. So, I have lost more pounds already since Tuesday, but I hate that I can't count on those to stay off since there are extenuating circumstances.
Life is insane! There is so much happening right now that I can't even think straight. I was so focused on losing weight and getting healthy, and now I am so distracted. Fortunately so far that hasn't hurt me, but I am going to have to work hard to keep focus on getting healthy! Wish me luck! March 04 Passing 25My journey here on MPM started at 220, but I started the process in December at 235. So, today, as I weigh-in, I have proudly reached the 25lbs gone mark. It is so exciting to get to that point. So, even thuogh I have a long way to go, I have made a lot of progress. So here is to accepting the progress made and celebrating that rather than focusing on how long the journey may still be. February 29 Leap DaySo, who's in with me in petitioning that calories on Feb 29th don't count? I mean, after all this day usually doesn't even exist...
That would be my way of saying I pushed my luck today! Ate out for lunch and had pasta! It was amazing! And then had hot chocolate from Dunn Bros. YUM! so before dinner-time I am already at about 1675 for the day- small dinner for me tonight!
 February 28 Some more calories for yaHere's another five day track record on my calories for you: 1575, 1380, 1685, 1655, 1680... Let me explain this at least in part... I may have mentioned before that I calculated my BMR to be about 1755. So, at my lowest I should be burning that daily. I am aiming for about 1600 per day with maybe one day at 1300 and one day closer to 2000. So far, so good. I figure this keeps me in deficit every day, even if I don't have much of a workout that day. But then, on the days that I do get in a good workout I will be burning a good amount over my base. These days are a little bigger, but when I was hitting around 1300 a day I was STUCK.
Another thing to point out is that even though I hadn't lost, I still felt like my body was changing- so I think I was toning at least a little.
Alrighty, good night kids! Gotta get some good rest if I want to have any success! Birthday Parties and Life in GeneralThere is always some reason to eat more food. This weekend it was a birthday party for a 2 year old. There was cake and homemade ice cream in addition to chili and soup. YUM! I had some of it all!! And honestly- I didn't feel guilty about it. But I really think that is part of the key- you can't always feel guilty. The other key is not letting everything become a "special occassion" that allows you to eat extra.
So anyway- here are a few little pics of surviving a birthday party!
Video Blog #2I always feel like a nerd when I make a video blog- but here ya go!
February 27 Self Talk Pep RallyWelcome to my Self Talk/Pep Rally
Stress is my enemy! I know I'm a stress eater, I use the stress as justification for the eating. I gotta quit that!
HMMM - digging deeper - maybe it is my family!!! My parents are visiting and my dad is fondly referred to as the "king of excess." That term of endearment is usually used when talking about toys, food, foul language, and did I mention food....
Yeah and with dad visiting, all we do is go from one food place to the next.
Ok so he'll be gone for a week and then back for 4 more days - resist the temptation, reduce the stress, relax and stay committed to your goals. February 23 FoodHere is about what has been going through my mind for the last two days:
food... food... food... food... food
I have been STARVING! And I can't say that I haven't given in a few times! Weak I am (say that in a Yoda-voice).
The plus side is being able to recognize our weaknesses and move forward from them.
So, new goals for next week- stop giving in to temptation.
Oh, and did I mention I gave up fast food for Lent? Not so easy- I am craving chicken nuggets like they are going out of style! Maybe that means I need protein.
Alrighty! Good night folks! Good luck, keep up the good work. February 20 HELP NEEDEDCan't figure out how to get the stuff on our page to flow- there are random gaps where the boxes want to line up side by side, top to top... how do I get it to stop!? Moving ForwardPoor Kara- her 2 year old is sick again! Strep throat for the second time in only a few months. I don't envy them at all! I hope that she and her husband manage to stay healthy this time through!
I visited with one of the athletic trainers where I work today (about my knee). He gave me some exercises to try to strengthen it. So, will be trying those out in the coming weeks. I still worked out pretty good in spite of my knee though- so I am proud of myself. Got in some solid elliptical and bike time as well as some weights. I am trying to get the weights in since I have been hearing that they can really boost your metabolism.
So, girl moment for you all- I am a single girl and a friend (male) that I haven't seen in about six years wants to see me this weekend to catch up. Now really, I look the same as I always have, but I can't help thinking that I wish I was thinner. When you see someone you haven't in that long, it just would feel good to look fabulous. Now don't get me wrong, I think I am an okay looking girl, but 20 fewer pounds on my frame would help me feel even prettier. So, anyway, wish me luck on meeting up with him.
Thoughts on the Biggest Loser this week... the going home challenge- I figured it would be tough for ALL of them. I do not understand the 11 and 16 pound losses. Crazy! As to Paul going home- I really think they made the right decision. On one hand Brittany has less left to lose, but I think that all the home footage showed that Paul really isn't as committed to it as the rest of them. I don't know- I will always feel bad for any of them when they get sent home.
Last thing from me for now:
Just to throw out there, here are my last five days worth of calories... 1300, 1870, 1700, 1310, 1690... I usually hit solidly between 1000 & 1600, with a few days here and there that go over. I definitely eat less by 2 or 300 calories on days when I write everything down. I found a website to calculate my BMR and in theory (if I don't have metabolism problems) my BMR is around 1750. So, in general I am not doing too bad, my worst days are when I eat in the dining room instead of making my own food. February 18 Always Another DayDid I mention that my knee hurts? Before I move onto other topics I will say that I am thinking about finding a doctor to check out the knee- maybe this time around they will actually find something wrong with it to fix! So, wish me luck!
I wish President's Day was a day off for me. Lucky school kids! Of course I ended up at home this afternoon anyway- darn cafeteria food did me in. I have always had stomach problems, when I had my gall badder out we thought it may take care of this. But, not so much. Pretty much anything I eat carries the potential to make me sick. Not every day does it happen, but more days than not. Boo. I wonder if my stomach problems are linked to my weight- cause of or caued by... probably not.
Okay, so I subscribe to Shape and Self. I really enjoy both magazines- especially that they offer new exercise ideas and routines. Rarely do I read something that I really disagree with. However, I did just read an article that really split my opinion. It was about reaching your "happy weight." On one hand it was saying that you don't have to be at the smallest end of your weight spectrum to be happy- which was great. But then it gave you a formula to calculate your happy weight... mine was 30lbs. lighter than my goal and 85lbs. lighter than I am now. How depressing to be told that I need to lose 85lbs to be happy with my weight. I know it is aimed at women who are starting out more fit than I am, but I felt like it didn't really acknowledge those of us who can't achieve that kind of loss anytime soon.
But so, my irritation inspired me to put together a list of things that I think can help us be happy with our appearance in general without reaching someone else's standard of a "happy weight."
That was really long, but my last thought is this: I am SOOOOO glad that I am not sick with the flu February 17 GoalsI think it is super important to identify what our goals really are. "To lose weight" is really vague.
I know I want to initially lose another 20 lbs and get under 200. My goal from there is 35 more to get to 165lbs. Then after that- there is another 20 to be in the "healthy range" for my height, but my goal there is to assess where I am at the time and how happy I am. If I am happy my goal may be to tone rather than to lose.
But there are other goals to recognize. Here are some:
And there are many more! I think that this week I am going to work on just writing a list of my goals- not just fitness and diet related, but life goals. If I don't know what my goals really are, then I can't reach for them! Okay- supremely annoyed because the graphic I am trying to paste in isn't working, but I am leaving the code anyway, just in case it magically decides to work! <center><embed src="http://www.pageplugins.com/generators/tshirt/tshirt.swf" FlashVars="stxt=To Be A Hero for My Family, Friends, and Myself&a=165&tx=49.9&ty=44&color1=0x330066&color2=0x660099&color3=0xFF9900&color4=0xCCFF66&font=2&gender=1&symbol=13&lnpath=http://www.pageplugins.com/generators/tshirt/&dom=http://www.pageplugins.com/generators/tshirt/" quality="high" wmode="transparent" width="341.2" height="412.8" name="TShirt Generator" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="samedomain" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" /></embed><br><a href="Myspace">http://www.pageplugins.com/generators/tshirt/">Myspace Tshirt Generator</a></center>
February 15 Knee InjuryMy blasted knee popped out again tonight!
 It has been about 4 months since the last time it popped, maybe even longer. I really thought with taking the Glucosamine and multi-vitamins that the stupid thing had finally (after 2 long years) healed up. But NO! Darn, Darn, Darn! It hurts like the dickens and usually going out once means weeks before I can trust it again. So frustrating- I had finally stopped babying it so much, and now I just feel justified all over again in my fear. I hate being afraid constantly of it popping out.
I need some serious good suggestions for strengthening ligaments- supposedly mine are weak and that is part of why my knee keeps popping. ARGH! February 13 Biggest Loser and Other ThingsOkay, so after watching this week's episode I have a few thoughts:
I am really disliking Mark- I think that they really portray him to not be a great person. And I totally get that it is TV and they only show parts of conversations and interviews, etc. And I realize that many of them do things they wouldn't normally because big money is on the line-- but at some point don't you think that it is still their true selves somewhere inside to fall to lying and scheming? I don't know... in any case, I really hope he isn't as bad as they make him seem. Every season has to have a "villian" right?
 Totally sad to see Trent go home though. I adore him. He wasn't in it to win big bucks which just makes me want him to win it even more. Maybe he will get the $100,000! Other important reports: Kara and I are walking twice a week together right now. Since I live where we are working out I usually try to get there early and run a mile or two to get my self moving. Being single, I have a more time on my hands to do that. We usually walk 1.5 or 2 miles and then stretch. I love that Kara likes to stretch because it is an important aspect of exercising that I normally bypass.
In addition to our Weds/Thurs walking, I have taekwondo on Tues and Fri. 2+ hours each time. So, I have 4 workouts per week locked in, and then I try to add at least one more day of working out at home on my own.
My calories have been cut for the most part, but temptations are always an issue for me. I went out to eat with my mom and totally scarfed more than I should have. She is definitely an enabler when it comes to food. Don't get me wrong- she picks a place where I can order healthy, I just don't follow through on my end. So, I shouldn't blame her- I should blame me.
 sorry mom! I think I need someone to tell me exactly how much I should be taking in though- I am not a great judge of that on my own. I am writing everything down though, so it totally helps me see what I am doing and where I am going wrong. Also, got my water up to around 96 oz or more per day most days. I am SUPER excited about discovering Jillian's radio show. You can download the shows after the fact, and so I have downloaded them and have been listening to them in my car and when I run. LOVING THEM! She totally cracks me up and offers fabulous advice and info. Great source of info.
Kara and I discussed jeans today. Apparently Lane Bryant is now selling jeans based around your body shape. I find this odd. What if you aren't one of the available shapes? It is really hard to find jeans that fit in all the right ways, especially if you are petite, or like me are between petite and average. But, I do recommend checking out the Apt 9 jeans at Kohl's. I found some I really love. The Daisy Fuentes brand aren't too shabby either.
Okay, enough for tonight- I am totally long winded!
Peace out and rock on!
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- seems like a lot of people have it and so far I have escaped! 
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